There is a song from a Quebec band that I really like, it’s called ‘Les étoiles filantes’ (the shooting stars) and it talks about how in the end we’re no more than shooting stars. How we remember our childhood and barely live through the present because we’re thinking of the future. The song is about realizing that we should really enjoy our short time before burning out.
I found that lately I have begun to really enjoy life more, because I allow myself to draw and write just for the fun of it. For a time, I drew for clients and prospective audiences, trying to please other people. I listened to what they wanted to see, and what colors they wanted to match their living rooms. I now allow myself more time to simply experiment, and draw for the fun of it, regardless of the end product. I do the same with my writing.
To me, this is what art is all about and I had forgotten that because I was stuck mourning the time lost in the past and expecting too much of the future. I find everything I do now is much more vibrant, but mostly more satisfying. And people seem to like it more, too.
All this to say that all the time I thought I wasted served to make me realize how much more time there is right now