Nei Ho and Ahoy to all!
Hope this newsletter finds you well… or at least as well as anyone can be found in this, our dire year 3 of the Obamanation, 2011. Perhaps I am a bit jaded, and I hope that is the case. Maybe your life is humming along peachy keen, and that would be fine by me. I love to hear that Litmock members are doing well. Hell, I love to hear that most anybody is doing well, except for politicians and wastes of airspace like Paris Hilton. No one should be proud that their claim to fame is a rich Daddy and a pocket dog. What’s worse, no one should be proud that they know about someone who is famous because they have a rich Daddy and a pocket dog. And yet I know about this person.
Unfortunately, many people have suffered gravely since the housing bubble exploded like a death star assaulted by a bunch of cute enough to make you puke Ewoks and the banks started bouncing higher than the hollow checks the government wrote. Since then, Big Ben has printed money like it’s paper (HAR! HAR!) and America has been deemed a credit risk by the S&P. We no longer qualify for the no money down, pay as you go, low interest IKEA King sized vibrating bed made of gold, but what are you gonna’ do?
Inside this messed up nation, many of us have struggled as the price of bread and gas has followed Gold’s suit, steadily rising in cost to the point that it’s ludicrous to think many of us can afford it. Personally, this has been a rough year. I have been outsmarted by a squirrel in my first attempt at growing a garden, so much so, Elmer Fudd wouldn’t look me in the eye if he passed me in the street. Apparently, coyote urine is a squirrel aphrodisiac and NOT a squirrel repellant, as the label so fervently promised. Or you’re not supposed to serve the urine to the squirrel with raw oysters and truffles, not sure. It seemed so inhuman to just dump the crap out there amongst the vegetables. Also, I have been struggling with the tidal wave that is now our economy, UP and DOWN, UP and DOWN. I currently have tons of copy work I can’t keep up with that I’m struggling to cover to simply tread water with my bills. It’s killing my brain, my will to live, and is ruining my ability to write, but whatever. I’ve subbed this work out before but it rarely gets finished when I give it to you guys, though I have some available if anyone REALLY wants to do it. Just email me for details.
I’d love to just sit down and write worthwhile stuff for a living again. I miss it. I’d like to make my mark before I go. Speaking of which, there have been some good things this year. Aside from the Sheila Kennedy and Barb Terry books, I have a few more Litmock books to announce in the next year, and I just got a contract on my own story from my wrestling days with the Albert T. Longden Agency. it’s called Down For The Count. I am excited about that.
And on a uniquely Litmockian personal note, Star and I are proud to announce we’re going to have a child. The first baby born of two people who met and fell in love thanks to a combined philosophy shared via Litmocracy. If nothing else, Litmocracy led us to each other, and we are having a child. A demon child to be sure, devilish, smart, and rife with imagination. I can’t wait. I’ve put new wrinkles and gray hair on Lay-Away in anticipation. Buy stock in Zantac and Tums if you’re smart, this baby will be TROUBLE. Yummy. Anywho, we are excited.
As far as Litmock goings go, the response to last month’s 2 contests were awesome. Green Fingered Skinner and Tobias won them respectively, and quickly. The feedback I’ve received says you guys like this posting contest, and between Lit Trans and the contests, we only awarded $150 in prizes last month. Not enough. We want to award $200. So here is the contest for this month:
Whoever posts the next 10 posts and shows me they have 250 Brain Points (which you also get for voting) will win the next $50, 7 posts and 200 Brain Points wins $25, and the next 2 people to send me a print screen proving they gained 150 brain points win $12.50 apiece. Post and vote quick because hustling Litmockians won’t wait around for you to get to it when you feel like it. They’ll win and take the cash.
It’s that easy. Read. Write. Vote. Make suggestions. Improve this place and WIN CASH. Until next time.
Hasta La Vista Amigos!
Don
