I’m having trouble getting in touch with Winona, so here’s an open letter to her…

Dear Winona,

I am lost without you.  Well, not completely lost, but lost in the sense that I can’t come up with a good explanation for your disappearance from my life.  I have some questions, if you happen to get this letter and you choose to take pity on me…

Did I offend somehow?  How are Sage and Erik?  Did you see the topic I posted at the Museum of Hoaxes?  Have you been in contact with Boo or anyone who mentioned that I’ve been trying to get in touch with you?  Do you still have the 30 copies of Literal Translations, Issue 4?  Thetraveler confirmed that he hasn’t gotten his copy yet.  Did you mail any of them out?  Did you happen to receive the second box (of 20 copies) that I accidentally had the printer deliver to you?

The USPS confirmed that the second box was delivered to your house on the 29th.  Lulu (our printer) would not fix the delivery address for me, so I’ve requested that Paypal refund me the cost of those 20 copies, and I’m about to place a second order.

I made up this story about how you lost the first box of 30 copies and you were so ashamed and distraught that you figured it’d be best to keep silent and hope I’d forget about it or something.  But that story is kind of silly.  So I made up another story about how you fell ill and have passed away and the logins I see you making at the Museum of Hoaxes and even Litmocracy are really your husband’s logins… But that seems unlikely too because there’s some Winona-esque elements to the post you made at the Museum on January 17th.  So you see, I am lost.

I don’t know what to think, but I am sure that I must honor our subscribers.  I’m hoping you can either send the box back to Lulu (just mark it “return to sender” and give it to the postman), or send subscribers their copies.  If I dont’ hear anything from you in the next few days, I’ll order more copies from Lulu and make damn sure I put in the correct address this time.

Please reply.  Please?

Hello to everyone else .

I have struggled with the question of how to let everyone know what’s going on with me and Issue 4.  I emailed all the subscribers a while back, but that was before I accidentally had the re-order sent to Winona’s house.  I screwed up, and I like everyone to know that I am capable of screwing up, and that I do my best to fix it.

There have been lots of new signups on the site, but not too much activity of late.  The problem with the delivery of Issue 4 and also the fact that I’ve been recovering from a nasty nasty cold for a couple weeks now (two nasty’s is rare!) has really trampled my motivation.  But Van and Julianyway and StarLizard and so many others have helped prop it up.  Thanks to all!

Some people have suggested that I make the site a non-profit and ask for donations.  I think it is a great sentiment that people would like to donate to Litmocracy, so I plan to raise the price of the magazine to $10 per issue, fill it out a bit more (it’s been about 50 pages since it started), send free copies to publishers, and make it a lot easier to buy.  Then I can say “donate $10 to Litmocracy, and we’ll send you the current issue of Literal Translations.”  Any advice on these plans is welcome and appreciated.

Wull, it says “Litmocracy owes [me] $5.00” (why?), and also I think I’ve toiled enough to get the $10 I’m supposed to get for posting and voting and stuff (MOAN! —well actually, this is a gas, far better than playing Doom into the dark night), SO, can I, like, have an issue of the magazine, without having to deal with PayPal, and then you could have the rest as a donation? 

I actually do have a PayPal account, and I think there’s even money in’t, but I’m too lazy to try to figure out my password and such.  Sigh.
I think I have two PayPal accounts, and I don’t wanna know which one is which, or why.  It had something to do with E-Bay, a long time ago. 

I suppose we may be all dealing with The Winter Doldrums.  I’m sorry you have a cold.  If Winona doesn’t come back, I’d be happy to try to help.  Seriously. 

I’m not so worried about the money as the fact that it’ll be such a pain in the neck to figure out my PayPal password.  I guess I should, though, because I know one of those accounts has money innit.  Argh. 

Well, let me know.  I’m not exactly lazy.  Not exactly. 

Julianyway

Winona we miss you…:(
Dave, we’re all here for you. Litmocracy and its members need their leader, but what is a leader without his supporters? Hang in there, we’ll sort this out

Colds suck the life out of you. I had bronchitis last year and I thought I was going to just die. Then again, it wasn’t so bad I couldn’t keep smoking. Damn nicotine…

I guess what I’m trying to say is that sometimes life gives you a cold in the brain, or in the soul, and the microbes are all those little or big things that float around never really completed. Needing to call a relative for some time, not quite getting out of that cold, not knowing the ending to a story…or misplacing magazines, or not hearing from a friend for a long time and not knowing why.

The good thing is, life also has a way of healing those things, the minute we find a bit of energy to get back to finding the pieces of the puzzle. And sometimes we don’t find the last one at all…but by then the picture is clear enough for us to put the puzzle back in the box and be satisfied we did everything we could to complete it.

And anyway, I think the dog ate it

I love you guys.

I have officially determined that this is all about the fact that this is February. 

Most people, when it gets like this, hide in their rooms and think it’s THEM (or that there’s something wrong with the room, or something).  However, I work in a call center, and I can tell you that EVERY time it’s weird here, it’s weird there.  And that includes Texas.  And India.  And Japan. 

So cheer up, people.  The Romans shortened February for just this reason.  It’s the shortest month of the year. 

Still seems to be taking a long time, though.

Sigh.