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Omigod.  I’m only half way through this story and already I’m laughing out loud. 
This never happens.
This is hilarious.
I’m going to go back and finish it….
LOLOLOL

Okay, this does it for me.  This is the best thing I’ve read anywhere, in ages. 
You just made my day.
This completely rocks.
My poodle thinks I’m nuts because I’ve been sitting alone in a room (apart from him), roaring with laughter.

I don’t have any complaints, except that there are some run-on sentences that get to me (I used to edit books), and there’s one place (early on) where the quotation marks don’t match or something. 

This story is absolutely the best, funniest thing, and you should make billions and billions of dollars from it! 
Dave, give littlewhitewolf billions and billions of dollars, at once!

hi Julia.

and you have made my day too!   You are too kind! Thank you soooo much. I’m really pleased this made you laugh - I giggled to myself as I was writing it lol

LWW