Posted: 30 November 2007 01:32 PM   [ Ignore ]
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I wrote this a long time ago, but just recently began defining myself as those creations of mine that have some chance of being everlasting: my kids’ genes, my writing, and my ideas.  Maybe there are other things too.

Anyway I do have a question:  Just today, I made an edit to clarify what happened near the end of the story.  It used to say “Pondering those summer evenings, I languished in front of the chair, swaying back and forth on my feet.”  I changed that to “Pondering those summer evenings when I went to bed feeling lonely, I languished in front of the chair, swaying back and forth on my feet.”  The reason is that when I first read that part yesterday, I didn’t realize that I was describing an epiphany.  I thought my failure to realize it was because it didn’t do a good enough job of reminding about going to bed frustrated.  However, now I’m not so sure.  It may have been because I wasn’t paying attention downer.

It is a minor detail, but I know that I am sometimes guilty of clarifying too much, so I don’t know whether it’s better with the extra reminder or without it.  What do you think?

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