I can’t figure out the new system. When I click on “Post” I am told I have to add five pieces to my list before I can post one. Okay, I looked through the site and added six to my list. I am still not allowed to post. Please tell me how to post.

Are there any of your own pieces in your list?  The problem might be that you have, say, 8 pieces in there, but 2 of them are your own.  The means you’ll need to add 7 more (for a total of 15) so that you can have three submissions in the running).  If thats not the problem, can you hit me up again, because you found a bug.

Dave.

PS I know I emailed you, but it’s a good question, so I addressed it here too.

There were three of my pieces on the list when I started. Are you saying I need five for each of them? A total of fifteen?
I’m having trouble finding stuff to add. A lot of the categories tell me that I have rated everything in that category.

Oooh something I overlooked.

I guess I need to make it clear on the front page.  Click the logo and you’ll get to the front where stuff from ALL categories will be presented.  No wonder people aren’t voting.  Thanks for the feedback.

No wonder Julie isn’t around much.  I’m just going to check this and see if it works. And no, I’m not checking my actual e-mail enough.  Aghhh!

No, you’re not, and so I can’t email you.

You could e-mail me NOW.  I’m just wandering around the/your dark house, bumping into the walls.  You moved the light switches!  (??)

I’ve just been wandering around in another forum/site I hadn’t been to since I left for Cambodia before Christmas—wandering around and bumping into THEIR (the other forum’s) walls. 

I told them to come here.  Don’t be surprised if you suddenly find yourself inundated by a bunch of weirdos.

This is getting frustrating. 
Why did you fix it?  Was it broken?

He fixed a broken heart. Yes, it was shattered.

Funny place for a email discussion. 

Julie, when are you going to send me an email so I know you’re getting email from me?  I fixed it because we made edits that overwrote each other.

Dave.

I don’t know what “I fixed it because we made edits that overwrote each other” even MEANS.  Something weird is going on, that’s for sure.  I liked it better when you (meaning “I”) could see the top-ranked post.  Now, the one that appears on top on my screen seems to be ranked #29 or whatnot.  I don’t know how to readjust things to see what the top-ranked post even IS.  I can’t post a submission at all; when I click on “post” it gives me this weird set of criteria which, so far as I can tell, I have fulfilled.  Then nothing happens.  I can still post in forums (manifestly) and I can leave comments.  Maybe I’m not understanding something, duh. 

Just answer me here; or .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)—I’m having issues of my own. 

Frustrated.  I’ve been to Cambodia and have stories to tell. 

Anyways, other people seem to be able to operate this thing, and there’s some good stuff on here.  I’d just like direction, cos I cannot tell for the life of me what’s going on. 

Cheers!

And furthermore it looks to me that some of the poetry posts are bleeding over into the short story posts.  I am pretty sure I was just in the Short Story section and saw some of my own poems listed.  You may be right, I may be crazy, but it just may be a lunatic you’re looking for.  (???  Dum de dum.)  You could always hire me to fix this for you, in which case I would probably hire someone like YOU, DAVE.  ARGH.  (Or at least hire someone to explain your new system to me, such as ME.) 

It’s great to be back, but it’s frustrating to be so confused.  Sorry if it’s my fault; my mother smoked while she was carrying me. 

This newsletter might help.

I know, I already posted this somewhere else on the site, but I love my own writing so much that I can’t resist, heh heh.  Also it bears repeating, in my humble opinion. 
I’m not trying to be a renegade or a revolutionary, but I object!  This is Litmocracy!  I have a RIGHT to object!  Right?  (she said, timidly)

So:
 

I am in complete agreement with Captain Vegetable’s apparent confusion, and in fact, trying to rank a photo against a poem, or a short story against a news story, has now turned me into something akin to a (Captain?) vegetable.  What do carrots SAY when they get burnt out?  How does that compare, on a scale of one to ten, with how they LOOK?  If somebody wrote a poem about burnt out carrots, say, “Woe unto ye, who have overcooked me; may ye be overcooked yourselves; yet shall we survive, for we are Root Vegetables”—how does this compare to “Carrot overcooked by Julie in kitchen, details at nine”????  I don’t know how to rank these.  It seems to me that they are both equally good in their own ways.  The poem is poetic and the news is newsy (I expect more news at nine).  I have absolutely no idea how to rate four radically different art forms against each other and say that one is better.  I guess a really good picture of some fried carrots might win, but at the expense of such an excellent short story (which I would post if only I could figure out how to vote enough)?  Can this be right?

I fear that things are going to get much more arbitrary around here.  People may vote madly, but I doubt they will know what they are doing.  At least, I don’t.  Sincerely.  If the aim is to get rid of the non-fiction and the art, that’s one thing, but surely throwing the wine glasses, the poodle, the rolled oats and the camera into the kitchen sink is sort of akin to throwing the baby out with the bathwater.

My two cents.
Respectfully,
J (Carrot) Hemingway

I suspect that you don’t *really* want to post all your answers twice… right?

ARGH.  No listen here.  I can’t believe this is working for anyone else.  It can’t be just me.  I was just trying to rate a humor entry against a rather sad short story, something like that… and against a bunch of other (types of) things on my “ticket”.  I can’t do it.  I just can’t do it justice.  I used to feel that I was making a somewhat meaningful contribution, by rating the submissions, but now I feel that I’m not.  Even going by my brute, gut feelings doesn’t cut it, because I can’t remember all of the submissions in every category (there are around 20, as I recall) to the right degree, to rate one against the other.  Maybe I’m just over-sensitive, but I’ve never been accused of that before.  Grrrrr.