The ending is excellent. I have a lot of trouble with the beginning though. The shortening is good (I assume this is accurate because I can’t remember anything that was in there before - ie you removed stuff that wasn’t memorable). The trouble is the depth to which the narrator goes in his effort to explain himself. It does show a tendency towards verbosity that fits the character, and it might even have the very good effect of setting the reader up to enjoy the ending more. I know if someone told me this, I’d hunger for examples, so here are a few:
“Well, held back sounds like…” in the paragraph comparing childhoods.
“Besides, it would finally give me that new beginning I sought.” - and some of the rest of that paragraph. The reference to the therapist is good, it’s the commentary around it that I’m nitpicking.
I hope I am more helpful than harsh. I very much think that the ending justifies more work on it as it touches on issues I hold dearly (identity).
Dave.
