Posted: 07 March 2008 06:01 AM   [ Ignore ]
Total Posts:  1
Joined  2008-03-07

Did reading this remind you of someone?
Did reading this remind you of something?

(Click the post title to read the submission.)

Posted: 19 March 2008 01:01 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 1 ]
Total Posts:  42
Joined  2008-02-18

“Uncle Jon killed himself during Ansley’s last week of high school.”

Talk about an amazing first line! And reading this story made me want to keep reading it. I love how you move the reader forward. Excellent writing.

The ending is okay, but I am wondering if it is too easy. I don’t necessarily feel as if you cheated the reader by giving them a half-assed ending, but I would like to see it explored just a bit more. A few more drafts to play it out a bit?

Overall, I love the tone, the pacing.

Hey! You should be a writer!!!

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