Posted: 30 November 2008 11:50 PM   [ Ignore ]
Jr. Member
Total Posts:  41
Joined  2007-11-29

What could be added to make this longer?

(Click the post title to read the submission.)

Posted: 02 December 2008 08:45 AM   [ Ignore ]   [ # 1 ]
Total Posts:  286
Joined  2006-07-29

Hey Rreed,

What a funny little piece smile I loved your backhand sarcastic writing style and really enjoyed the way you used the donkey - sorry, donkeyS! - in there. The sillyness just adds to the tone of your story.

I felt it ended a bit quickly at first - you developed the plot and I was expecting to see it through - but on re-reading it, I feel it fits nicely with the flow of the rest of the story. I wouldn’t add to it I don’t think, and it doesn’t need to be longer in my opinion.

Thanks for a great read!
- Star


Artificial intelligence is no match for natural stupidity.

Editing your stuff: Because an apostrophe is often all that stands between writers who know their shit and writers who know they’re shit.