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Friday, September 18, 2009

Cheating Destiny

Everybody is very sad because of what happened to our pet dog, but I don’t know what it is that happened. 

All I know is what they are saying:  “When that other dog…” and “Oh, that poor dog!” (meaning, ours) “Ooooh, it was awful!” 

I don’t know what happened at all, and then it turns out not to have happened.  Yet.  Because we are living in a house and our dog is IN the house, safe and sound.  I’m thinking to be very careful of him so nothing does happen.  But I open the door to get the mail. 

Then, just as I open the door, a whole pack of dalmations runs by on the road outside.  The house we are in is not OUR house; we’re just staying here for awhile, for some reason.  Our own house is being remodeled, or something.  This house we’re using has no fenced yard, so I can’t just let our dog out.  I open the door to get the mail.  I’m holding our dog in my arms, but he struggles out of my grasp when he sees the dalmations.  He is some kind of bony, beagley type of dog.  I’ve never seen him before in my life.  He runs off after the dalmations. 

I yell at him to come back.  After awhile, he actually does!...through some bushes and across the driveway, followed by one of the dalmations.  I scoop our dog up in my arms again, as it occurs to me that the dalmation would have to be the dog that people were talking about—are going to be talking about— when they say “When that other dog…”  I know that “that poor dog” referred—is going to refer—to our dog, and so the dalmation must be “that other dog”.

Something terrible is about to happen to our dog, I’m thinking; but I am holding him tight in my arms.  I step back through the door of the house, meaning to slam the door in the face of the dalmation, who is still in front of us, smiling and bouncing up and down, wanting to play. 

I picture myself dropping our dog.  I picture him falling, and striking his head on the cement stoop.  I don’t know what could happen if I don’t do the right thing. 

Suddenly I’m paralyzed.  Maybe I should put him down to avoid something terrible that is about to happen because I am holding onto him.  But I picture him running down the street with the dalmation again, and getting run over by a bus, if I put him down.  Or maybe the dalmation will attack?  But it looks friendly. 

Our dog, who I’ve never seen before in my life, squirms in my arms.  A wave of despair washes over me.  Our dog is doomed and I don’t know how to avoid it, or even if it’s possible to avoid it.  Maybe the house will collapse on both of us if I try to slam the door.  Especially because this is a dream, and because I’m obviously feeling fatalistic, anything could happen.  Maybe I’ll squish his head in the door if I try to slam the door. 

What to do?  It’s the moment before something bad is going to happen and I have no idea how to avoid tragedy.  Anyone in their right mind would wake up in disgust at this point.  So, I do.