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Saturday, January 06, 2007

Annie & Lucy

Category: Short Story
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Old Comments

  • I voted on this one a few times and then realized that I want it to be a bit different, but I see great potential in it.  What I like about it so much is that Annie’s outlook on life, either through naivete or through childish wisdom, defies the tragedy of her illness.  This theme could be brought out all the way through the end of her life.  The problem is that the point of view kind of changes to her parents’ at the end, which marginalizes the beauty of Annie’s outlook.  I wanted to read more about how she dealt with all the complicated things about life and death and illness that the adults tried to explain - to see her innocence keep her happy through it all.  Or even to see that innocence slowly decay.  I just wanted to stay with her til the end, but instead, I got three weeks packed into one sentence, and it was about her parents instead.

    Also, if you’d like your stories to be discussed, here’s a how-to: http://www.litmocracy.com/forums/viewthread/24/

    Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)  on  01/08  at  03:41 AM
  • I guess reading and writing consist of relating to people. When my daughter was a child, she lost a classmate, like Annie; and she never got over it, never. That’s how I relate to this story, so I’m crying, like the girl’s father. And I see this story as symbolic of life - a perfect little child dies for no reason. But it means something to me, a perspective; that I think we should always have before us. Perhaps to always be cherishing the three weeks.

    Posted by Mikael Covey  on  02/08  at  11:30 PM
  • I think Dave is right, that the perspective changes radically, suddenly, and that I was suddenly deprived of finding out what happened to Annie (apart from the fact that she died)—Annie, whose personality is the best-developed by far.  I’m not sure what the theme is, or what to make of it, except to grieve for this sort of thing.  Maybe this little girl could teach us all something more about death, and grief.  I’d like to know what Annie thinks about it, for the next three weeks. (Or something.)
    She’s a nice little girl—I care about her.

    Posted by julianyway  on  06/17  at  12:17 AM
  • Take out the last sentence and this story is great.  For me, if you leave the last sentence out, then it is up to the reader to make their own meaning of what will happen, and that makes Annie’s story much more personal and meaningful.

    Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)  on  06/24  at  12:49 PM
  • Yep, what aggie9390 (didn’t realize there were so many aggies!) says will work.

    Posted by julianyway  on  06/27  at  02:14 AM
  • I agree with aggie9390. In fact, I would cut the last para.

    “Sure,” said her mother, smiling through her tears. (To be the last sentence)

    ——

    This is a moving story.

    Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)  on  09/14  at  06:49 PM
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