Monday, April 29, 2013
Boobala Darling Wins A Cruise -A Fictional Story-10
Category:Boobala’s Lament
There was a woman who entered every contest, every sweepstakes that she could find. All she wanted to do was win a vacation, to get away from the rigors of daily life. She filled them out endlessly, tirelessly, wasting countless hours hoping beyond hope she might one day win her dream vacation, until finally she gave up hope, until the one day she answered the door and received a telegram telling her that she’d finally won a cruise.
Picture the scene: 45 year-old Boobala of Brooklyn, NY filled out entry forms for all kind of sweepstakes for many years, especially anything involving a free cruise. Ticked off because her life was miserable, Boobala is an habitual complainer. She complains about everything, including her dead husband Harry, who was a born loser. He left her penniless. She is brooding on her fate when the doorbell suddenly rings.
Ring, ring, ring, I hear the doorbell ring!
It’s probably Nosy Mrs. Grimes,
Who gossips all the time,
She thinks that I have nothing else to do!
She smokes, I choke, that lady is a mope,
She should stay home and clean her house
Or at least try to find herself a loving spouse,
(Giving me and my neighbors a break too!)
I have enough to keep me busy, but my life is very dull
I could have lived in high society, but then I
Went and married Harry, who had lots of debts to carry,
Then he dies and leaves me living with his Uncle…
Why can’t I be a lady of leisure
Living in grace and elegance,
Marry a rich man who’ll give me pleasure
Cruises, diamonds and romance?
Work, work, work, I’m such a stupid jerk!
I could have been a movie star, with all my talent I’d go far,
And have my pick of all those gorgeous men…
A fling, a fling, just a quick romantic thing,
Don’t want a man whose breath will smell,
Who snores away the night and gives me hell.
Who thinks that I’m his nurse and also his mother hen!
I need someone who’s strong and sexy
Am I hoping for a miracle? I hope he’s not a bum and lazy,
Or I’ll end up with another Harry, bringing me MORE debts to carry
then He’ll die and I’ll end up again with harry’s uncle yet AGAIN.
I’m ignoring the doorbell, whoever it is can go to hell,
It’s more bad news, I’m oh so sure,
Just let me complain a minute more
About this life that brings me only heartache and pain.
“Alright already, I’m coming,
Just a minute. JEEZ.. You’d think I just won something,
Like you have a million bucks to give me this morning,
Just who the hell is dropping dead, tel me and scram
—Who is it?
“Why it’s a telegram, Ma’am,
I have a telegram for you.”
OY, OY, OY, a telegram for me? Don’t know if I want to see…
With such miseries one after the other I’m afraid to give a look.
Win, win, win, why can’t I ever win?
For years I’ve filled out all those entry forms
I’m so tired of waiting, my dreams are worn
Should I persist or give up all those hopes for good?
Romance and dance, I wish I only had a chance
But who would love me the way I am, anyway?
With all this weight, only an amazing man
Would look beneath and take me as I am.
I would like to remarry if I could…..
I want someone sexy with nice hair
Who will find me irresistible and fair,
As long as he’s not a lazy worthless gambler
Or I’ll have another Harry, who will give me debts to carry
Then he’ll die and I’ll end up again with Harry’s uncle one more time.
Oh why can’t I be a lady of leisure
Living in elegance in good measure,
Marry a rich man who’ll give me pleasure
Cruises, diamonds and romance.