Monday, April 29, 2013

Boobala Darling Wins A Cruise- A Fictional Story-13


Boobala Darling’s Long Awaited Proposal

Boobala has had a rough life, she married a cad, became the black sheep of her rich family, and lived an unhappy life. Her only wish was to escape it. After her husband died, her dreams dominated her existence. For years she entered contest after contest attempting to win a cruise. When she was about to give up, she finally won her cruise.

After her arrival on the Empress Carinthia and her disappointing experience with the rude Captain, who treated her as if she was some sort of baggage, Boobala is left with no choice but to remain on board and make the best of her free trip. In the hustle and bustle above deck as the ship departs from Port, the captain glances at her hurt facial expression. She angrily turns away from him. Captain Reginald runs to her side and apologizes for his abruptness. He offers to escort Boobala to her designated cabin. Dismayed by the appearance of her prize-winning room. she complains to the Captain about its state. Captain Reginald responds coldly, “Mrs. Darling, it is what it is, please keep in mind that your trip aboard the Empress Carinthia is free, so don’t look a gift horse in the mouth. Enjoy the trip.”

Boobala starts to dislike the Captain, muttering under her breath while leaving her cabin. She proceeds to the dining room to eat a hearty meal. Determined to have a good time, she exclaims: “Oh Vat the hell, at least they’ll be plenty of food,” while silently yearning for a Prince Charming to come into her life, hoping to find him on this cruise. She makes sure she looks her best when she goes to the dining room. Upon entering, the waiters all flutter around her as she orders her meal from the menu. Boobala’s ears perk up at the sound of loud, raucous laughter coming from a group of heavily made up women sitting two tables away. She curiously espies them, as they are engrossed in their chatter. Dressed in costume jewelry, they reek of cheap perfume. It is overwhelming and nauseates Boobala. The women cackle like a pile of old hens, all chattering at once. Sensing someone watching them, they momentarily stop, look to see who it is, shrug their shoulders, and then continue talking in their imitating falsetto voices.

Boobala is amused as she recognizes one of the heavy, obnoxious women. “So Vat’s with her, that pompous one? Who’s she kidding, making like she’s an “Alrightnikeh?” (Yiddish term: Alrightniks parade their money, talk loudly, dress garishly and show off.)

“I know she’s my cousin, Sylvia’s neighbor down on Delancey Street. Oy Vey, look at that piece of meat with two eyes, how she stuffs her face and licks her fingers… may she live to be a hundred and twenty years and may she choke on every bite.” Boobala was starting to enjoy herself. “How I wish Myrtle was here, we would have a ball making fun of all these women.” She paused for a nostalgic moment, to remember when she and Myrtle, in their teen-age years, used to mimic everyone, laughing so hard they thought they would swallow their tonsils. Boobala kept observing the people in the dining room while she ate, almost choking on her food when she looked at another table and saw a man whose toupee was lop-sided. She gave a chuckle. “That one makes like he’s a big shot. I bet he borrowed the money to go on this trip. Oy Vey, look at the diamond on his finger, he probably owes his children to a loan shark. May all his teeth fall out, leaving just one to give him a toothache! I guess the ugly one with the heavy eye bags must be his wife. Oy, Oy, Oy, with those bags she needs a dozen pair of shoes. I hope she lives to a hundred and fifty years and looks it.” In that moment, a middle-aged woman with seemingly huge breasts and tight hip jeans totters past her wearing high heels. Boobala says to herself. “Look at that one… I bet if she were on the Titanic she’d be the only survivor. So that you call attractive? I should have such luck.” Boobala looks down at her own middle-aged breasts being held up by an underwire bra. Boobala could not help but notice the man sitting across from her table, who was ordering drink after drink. “Looks like he has a fly in his throat and wants to drown it.”

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