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Tuesday, July 25, 2006

Domino Effects: ‘Las Cajas de Muertos’

Category: Short Story
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  • I like the idea of this story, but there are some technical issues that bugged me:

    1) The Mustang drivers’ hits all get reported as accidents, which taxes the suspension of disbelief.  If you’re poking fun at the media, it isn’t obvious enough, at least for me.

    2) The copycat is “one of the biggest hitmen in the south”, and the story of his hit was in the local section, and Manny’s shop is in Texas.  This means that Manny must have gotten a copy of a Reno paper, but it’s a bit confusing.  To avoid confusion, maybe Manny should introduce Reno by pulling the paper out before his pawn comes into the store.  Then the pawn can notice and ask about the paper…

    Anyway, your detail is excellent.  I found myself having to go back and reread some parts to figure stuff out, but rereading was enjoyable.

    Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)  on  07/26  at  10:57 AM
  • Thanks for the review and your comments.

    -#1 reflects Manny’s disdain for the hitman’s prowess, not the lack of true media coverage. Dspite his efforts, all of his “hits” are covered as bizarre deaths and never attributed to the hitman and never growing his reputation. 

    -I think you’re right about #2, so I’ll simply switch the news coverage to a state-wide story.

    Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)  on  07/26  at  11:29 AM
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