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Sunday, August 07, 2011

Kismet

Category: Humor/Satire

Robert Blake & Casey Anthony Enter into Matrimonial Contract

In a bizarre surprise twist in the ongoing saga of the most hated woman in America, acquitted alleged child murderer Casey Anthony, and acquitted alleged wife murderer, Robert Blake, announced their engagement earlier today, only minutes after her early morning release from a Florida prison.

In a hasty Tweet to friends and followers alike, the odd couple appeared giddy and upbeat.

“I am glad Casey answered my advertisement. I feel like we have known each other all our lives. We are long lost soul mates. We have a lot in common. We need each other. We became friends online. We got engaged over the phone. We plan to record our wedding and post a video of the ceremony on You Tube.”

Former child star and widowed father, Robert Blake,78, and current childless mother, Casey Anthony, 25, became friends the moment Casey Anthony answered a “Situation Wanted” on-line ad posted in a Southern California Penny Saver newspaper.

“I was alone in my cell, surfing the internet, looking for somewhere to go upon my release from prison, when I read an advertisement that touched my heart. I was so moved by this older man’s gentleness and panache, I just had to call him. Right there on the phone he proposed to me and I accepted. Now, we are engaged. That is when I discovered my future husband to be is actor Robert Blake.”

According to an unnamed source in Riverside, California, hackers broke into a Southern California Penny Saver website’s computers over the weekend and stole private client contact phone files. The hacker then posted the names of the advertisers in a Huffington Post comment blog, where and when Rebekah Brooks, a long time Murdock executive, allegedly discovered the theft, copied the private information, and subsequently posted the names and unlisted phone numbers of the advertisers on Facebook, moments before she was arrested far away in London, U.K., charged with 100 felony counts, in a unrelated illegal phone tapping matter.

“I could not help myself. Old habits are hard to break…” False Quote: – Rebekah Brooks

The former TV star, acquitted wife murderer, and current widowed single parent, entered into a matrimonial contract with the childless mother, convicted liar, and acquitted alleged child murderer, to become a free-lance live-in companion slash caregiver slash occasional babysitter for Blake’s motherless 11 year old child, when she visits her father on weekends. Details of the matrimonial contract were not revealed.

“I am getting too old to be a parent. Teenagers need constant looking after. Oldsters need care, too. That’s the truth. And, ‘You can take that to the bank’. Casey was available and I accepted her application. That is when I proposed a mutually beneficial marriage contract, with me as her expert after trial income manager. During negotiations, I found Casey to be smart, calculating, and attractive. She reminds me of my dear departed insane mother.” False Quote: -Robert Blake

“Robert is my dream husband. He is a truly lovely man. Although he is no longer rich, or famous, or virile, I know I could learn to love him. What more could a single girl ask for? He is like the father I never had. He is a friend who respects me. He assures me he likes to dine out a lot and go dancing all night long. That’s good. I do not like to cook.” – False Quote: – Casey Anthony

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