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Friday, May 27, 2011

Love Letters to my Flatmate

Category: Poetry/Lyrics

Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
We’re all out of milk
and margarine too.

Roses are red.
Violets are blue (not pink).
Stop leaving clumps of hair
in the bathroom sink.

Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
Why the f**k would you leave your stupid homemade moisturiser in the fridge?
I thought it was salad cream!
I took a tuna and moisturiser sandwich to work!
You suck!

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Old Comments

  • Very rarely does a piece of writing make me laugh out loud. And I don’t mean that I LOLed the way so many people who have lost the concept of expressing their emotions because of technology overload. I mean I literally laughed out loud. Thank god I didn’t laugh my head off, although I guess I did, figuratively. Thanks for the laugh, and keep em’ coming!

    Posted by StarLizard  on  05/27  at  06:54 PM
  • Made me fricking pop a pants button, blow out a zipper and spit wine out my nose. The bad thing is I wasn’t drinking wine. I was eating grapes. I’ll be sure to read it again and again when I get back from the emergency room.

    Posted by deminizer  on  05/27  at  06:58 PM
  • Very chuffed that it made you giggle smile I sent a version of this to a poetry contest called the Wergle Flomp Competition, so fingers crossed. deminizer - If your nose can ferment grape mush and turn it into wine, you could potentially make a lot of money….

    Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)  on  05/29  at  02:38 PM
  • Yes, if I wouldn’t stop consuming all the wine!

    Posted by deminizer  on  06/04  at  02:40 PM
  • Hilarious. And it really illustrates the daily aggravations of a relationship. Keep up the great work.

    Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)  on  06/08  at  09:54 PM
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