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Wednesday, November 02, 2005

The magical land of Entiererica

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The magical land of Entiererica

Bill liked the store that was located two blocks from his house. He could find all the mind numbing stories by the old bums of the 21 century. He particularly liked the sex deprived
(not that Bill knew) bum stories. He could relate to these. In one such story an old bum has a romantic encounter with an old mop that has lost most of it’s ‘hair,’ but this does not reduce it’s sexual powers to ‘Sam’ the bum. It was this story Bill was reading while listening to the news.

Of course some place was just bombed, and people were shocked about history doing what it does. Bill wanted to get a mop to love for his own. This is how powerful the romantic tale had been. Mops were not made any more. Not for a hundred years. Nothing got dirty. Nothing was walked on. Every one traveled on a mop-like wheel chair, only it
was a mop chair. Bill had a Tex-power 5000. It was one of the best. Bill could always
admire the bottom of his chair, and did even before he found the stories of the mid to late 21 century bums.

He always had a sore neck. There were help groups, it being a common problem,
But Bill did not think it was a problem. “The ministry for peace” had been bombed in Micro-land. Micro-its were shocked and saddened, it was the third time in the week, and
I don’t understand their shock, but it was there… Bill was looking at the bottom of his chair, happy and beautiful as it was. Bill cared little about Micro-land. Things
Were too expensive there. Growing up in Ford-land was good. It had plenty of water! The water was 30% alcohol and had a good kick,  not like the micro-it shity 10% water. It made you forget. His father had liked the water, a lot. Their water bill was huge. Some months they had no heat because Bill’s dad needed more water, and ford-land was the coldest part of Entirerta. Bill’s chair had heating though and he made it through. Bill’s mother worked.

She had picked up his dad in the singles market. His father had a crooked neck. Mop fetishes were wide spread happening, almost to epidemic proportion(the same with high water bills.) Crooked necks were a sure sing of bottom lookers, and were also looked down on, and those who had high water bills were too, and even more if it was a “combo”-as they called it a “super sized problem,” and sold ‘deals’ to consumers with the problems (super-sized) because problems were big business.

“Books are all good.” Was the ford government’s slogan. Micro-land’s was “guns are
All good” Entirerta’s was “ever things all good, as long as you are in the right
Place. And if you’re in the wrong place you will be killed.” It was a happy world. Yo-some Glombick was the ruler. Bill had never seen him. You were not aloud to see politicians, but it was rumored that he had warts. But they were brain warts.  Rulers were better if they had brain warts. Warts meant that their brain was bigger than their skull! You could hear Yo-some talk in your ear phones, and he had a soothing voice, but it made babies cry for some reason. Yo-some liked talking about women’s vagina’s, and most of his speeches, it was said, he was getting a blow job during each and every time.

“All the better,” Bill’s mother would say, “it shows that he is sensitive.” Bill did not understand his mother. She worked, and paid the bills and drank a substantial amount of water herself.

Her chair was first rate, but she never looked at the bottom. She had a vial around her mop ends, and how Bill would have loved to looked at them. His mother had warned him, and his father if she ever caught them looking at her mop she would cut of the water. The
Only thing was to do was drink water and dream.

 


The news from Micro-land was cut short. “Oh baby she had a tight pussy. I got my whole fist in their though!” It wasYo-some. He was slurring, Bill turned off his ear phones. He went down the ramp, and out the door. Sliding down the linoleum Street-way. Not many people were out. It was around 3 am but time was nothing. Work was strange. It relayed on your finger quickness and stamina. The store had large neon lights. The lights were from the 21 century, and they probably were worth a lot. Strangely the owner’s neck was quite straight. Bill decided that it was because all that bum literature that he sold.

” I want a mop.” Bill said. The owner looked down.

“I don’t know if your ready, Bill” He looked at Bill. Bill had talked with him about the mops.

“I’ve done the work, Tim! Tim I am ready!” Tim smiled. He turned and opened a door. He then motioned to Bill. Bill’s chair started to move. ”No no, out of the chair. I don’t use a chair.” It was true Bill never saw him in one. There were no laws against not using
A chair. Just every one did, it was the thing to do. Bill got up. Then fell on the ground.
“When you can get to the door. When you can walk to the door.” Bill put his head down and mopped his way out. Cleaning everything as he went, he had put his chair on spic and span…

Bill went to the sex shop next door. He went to the back put in his dollar and promptly a
Pair of legs shot out of the wall in spread position. Bill did his business. Afterwards
The legs were sucked back in to the wall.

Made good time on the Tex-power 5000. He was going to the park; Bill was going to learn to walk, to live, to mop! The large hill before the park, going towards it was a straight line and Bill decided to read some of ‘Sam’s mopping adventures.’ 
The room was dark, it was dirty I wanted too clean it. There the mop long slender ready, and I was ready. I walked up to the Mop ‘sally’ I said ‘we are going to clean mess!’ Sally as I thrusted her sucked Up the dirty and water. I did not think a mop of her size could clean that wildly! Oh baby…It went on in that fashion.

XXX

At the park Bill ran in to Todd. Todd had a decent chair, a Ray150, but it did not have the speed that Bill’s Tex   had. Todd was not Mop crazed. That’s why Bill liked him, and it was pretty much why Todd disliked Bill. ” Todd! What you up to?” Said Bill putting away his book. ”Nothing. I was about to go…” Todd said edging off. His chair-that is-was on edge, but Bill never got the message.
“You got any water?”
“Sure.” Todd said

Handing him a glass-the Ray150 had a dispenser. Although it was an older model
Bill still liked the look of the mop end of Todd’s chair, and this is what Todd did not like about Bill. It was a hard thing to keep your mop ends UN-stared at. ”Bill, man, do you got to be looking at my mop ends?” No.”  Said Bill embarrassed. “Sorry Todd,”
Todd nodded, “I got to tell you though, and well, do you have any experience in walking?”

“I used to do it each day. My dads an old bum.”
“Really?!” Bill said his eyes lighting up a and almost burning Todd with their excited glare. Todd then got up, to Bill astonishment, and walked over to him. He could help Bill. Bill’s eyes sank to the mop ends-how beautiful they were, how wonderful! Bill tried to regain his thought to a more conducive state for the matter at hand. He did, with all his might he looked at Todd, who was a little ticked-his chair being ogled at. Todd was one of the old ones. Or at lest his father had taught him the old ways, and he could help, Todd could help!

XXX

Bill began his training almost right away doing baby steps in Todd’s back yard. After a few months, and 36 world wars that had nothing to do with Bill and Todd and really did not change their lives so they did not talk about them and if some one wanted to talk about it or ask their options they would say “don’t talk about politics.”  Which happened to be another government slogan,  Bill was walking.

As soon as Bill could walk he zoomed down to the book store and got up out of his chair and marched right in to the store and said.

“I’d like my mop please…”  The store owner smiled and there was a tinkle in his eye.

“Sure thing Bill.”  He said.  “Sure thing…”

By:  Geoff A. Parsons

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Old Comments

  • Only read the first two paragraphs.  I like your funny stuff, but you need to rank it above other stuff if you want people to see it.  Some members look at everything, but a lot only look at the stuff on the first page, and if you don’t rank your stuff above other stuff, someone could knock your off the first page right after you post it.  If you rank yours in first place (and add all the others to one or more lower ranks), then it takes at least two people to knock yours off the first page.

    Posted by .(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address)  on  11/03  at  03:59 PM
  • Page 1 of 1 pages

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