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Wednesday, June 22, 2011

Creationism (The Interesting Bits)

Category: Poetry/Lyrics

In the first hour, on the fifth day,
God had an almighty craving for candyfloss
and accidentally created flamingos.

In the fourth hour, on the fifth day,
God wrapped a parrot in a pride flag and lo,
the Rainbow Lorikeet was created,
as a symbol of diversity and tolerance that was largely ignored.

In the twelfth hour, on the fifth day,
God drank too much Red Bull, got overexcited
and created the Leafy Seadragon, the Vampire Squid and the Narwhal
in under ten minutes.

On the sixth day,
God awoke in a particularly bad mood
and so created Loa Loa worms
(google images - but not if you’re squeamish).

In the seventh hour, on the sixth day,
God created the sloth, but accidentally made it so slow-moving
that moss was able to grow on its fur.
In a fit of pique,
He named the animal after a sin
(or a sin after the animal).

In the tenth hour, on the sixth day,
God was suddenly overcome with a sick curiosity
and decided to create a species of insect - the female of which species
would decapitate the male during intercourse, for His amusement
(and the female’s nutrition, of course)
and lo, the Praying Mantis,
that most pious of creatures, was born.