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Saturday, March 03, 2007

Daydream

Category: Life Winners, Issue 5
Daydreaming in the soft glow of jazz music, the sky is grey and flurries of snow dance in my window. Thoughts come and go, linked by distant and recent memories, by dreams of things to come. My mind is made of futuristic nostalgia, and I let myself get lost in the comfort of semi-consciousness. Time stands still although the light is changing, because right now there is no time, there is no thought of tomorrow. Right now is the perfect moment, the proof that magic still exists. The fears, the stress of everyday life, the little things that in every moment of my waking hours tell me that I am late for something, that the work is never over, are quieted in this precious moment of ignorant bliss. In a moment, my body will tell me that the chair is too hard, pins and needles in my legs will alert me of the need to move. Someone from somewhere in the house will call my name, ask me about some trivial matter, and the spell will be broken. But for the time being, I am unaware of the distractions to come. Funny how my mind can think about these things and still not understand them, so that the daydream may last. I find myself thinking of something and wondering how I got there. I link back to the beginning, through the checkpoints of my journey in oblivion, trying to find the thread that brought me here. Ah yes, I remember. I link onto a new memory, tracing a new path, forming a new thread. The Land of Daydreams knows no borders, and I can go wherever I choose, without being conscious of making choices at all. My mind wanders, sees friendly faces and pretty places. It sees wonderful things that will never be, and nostalgic things that have come to pass. Yet I am aware of a peaceful smile on my lips; there is no time here, and so even these things that are lost forever in the past are still very much alive for a moment. I wish this moment could last forever, but I know it cannot be. For to daydream is to allow ourselves to linger in memories, cherished memories that are granted to us as a gift for living through all those waking moments. I reward myself a little longer, drifting through a few more happy moments, until my eyes tell me that the sky has grown dark. Slowly, and a bit reluctantly, I turn from the window and contemplate the room. Already the everyday is upon me. The first reflex that tells me I am back for certain is the glance at the clock. Time for dinner. Time for life. There will be more moments to daydream – now is the time to live.