Sunday, January 02, 2011

Green Song

Category: Issue 21

A satirical ditty about being Green. If anyone actually sings it, please let me know.

Harris (.(JavaScript must be enabled to view this email address))


I am green green greener than green
I’m the greenest human you’ve ever seen
When I go to the market I bring my own bags
I make my own fuel from junk mail and rags
I only wear old American flags
Because I am so green

I’m green, green, greener than green
I’m so green it’s nearly obscene
I gather my vegetables down in the glade
I only drink coffee that’s grown in the shade
I never eat chickens who died while afraid
That’s because I’m green

I’m so green it even scares me
I recycle everything even my pee
I put it in bottles and bury them at sea
Because I’m absolutely green

I’m green, green, greener than you
I do more for the planet than you’d ever do
My car is a hybrid it only takes sips
But that doesn’t matter I never take trips
No modified veggies will pass through my lips
All because I’m green

I’m so organic it’s almost a cult
My fake fur’s so real I think it could molt
I take global warming as a personal insult
That’s how green I seem

I’d never use anything animal tested
I was chained to a tree until I was arrested
Half of my diet has been pre-digested
My money is green and is fully invested
In wildlife rescue and land unmolested
Oh I am ever so green