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Tuesday, June 22, 2010

Lady Gaga Assaulted and Forcibly Draped

Category: Issue 21

Lady Gaga Assaulted and Forcibly Draped © Copyright 2010 by Green Fingered Skinner

Lady Gaga, the exotic entertainer, singer, and Madonna look-a-like, suffered a violent assault as she exited Yankee Stadium this evening, after attending a baseball game where she exposed her scantily clad body to a national TV audience, earlier today.  A spokesperson for the starlet claim she is embarrassed and upset, but unhurt.

Eyewitnesses claim a group of six masked marauders of unknown sexual orientation, wearing designer shopping bags over their heads, appeared from out of nowhere and assaulted the star in the parking lot before she could reach the safety of her car.  Knocked to the ground by the team of commando like assailants, they had their way with stunned celebrity and forcibly draped the starlet from head to toe in off the rack clothes, shoes, and a pink hat emblazoned with the Sears company logo.  The assault lasted less then three minutes.  Fashion police are investigating. 

Madonna, the foremost suspect in the assault, was allegedly out of town and could not be reached for comment.