Tuesday, November 22, 2011

My Creative Stammer

Category: Life

I have a creative stammer
A dreadful affliction
It’s not quite a stutter, more of a brain fart of a thing
And it’s really quite paralyzing

It means that I get brilliant ideas
Exciting and novel concepts
Which unfortunately come at me all at once
Overwhelming me and making me lose my countenance

No matter how hard I try
I can never quite make them stand still
And as soon as I recognize them for what they are
They hurl themselves in between long lost memories

They often linger there for a moment
Tantalizing and floating just out of reach
And I know some carry pen and paper
For just such moments of creative wisdom

Somehow I never get around
To procuring such instruments
And I am left to gape and gasp
As the fruits of my overactive mind float away

Sometimes I’ll pick up some remnant of a dream
Or glimpse a glimmer of brilliance
But more often than not I simply sit there and contemplate
What I am quite sure is out of reach

Because I’d have to go to the confines of my mind
And sort through all the priceless bullshit lying there
And find that coveted idea that was once so clear
But is now blurry and entangled in the genius of my overactive imagination

It sure seems easier to just let it go
To be content that I am able to generate such things
Yet I often grow frustrated at my laziness
And spend days sulking, wondering what could be

Sometimes I re-read a piece written long ago
Or peruse a painting forgotten on the wall
And wonder how this younger mind of mine
Could ever have created such beauty and wit

And then I sit down and think: why not?
Maybe I can do it again
Maybe all I have to do is not think of all I’ve missed
And let the juices flow unabated

Maybe whatever we create always seems mundane at the time
Until we once again feel like we can’t do it anymore
And then whatever stammer we think is our demise
Is actually what sets us free

So I wrote this hoping that I can silence the stammer
It stemmed from an idea that couldn’t help but linger
I’m sure it could have been much, much better
Had I just stopped to think and consider

Half way through I thought: this should rhyme
Give it a pleasant flow, a little chime
So my brain told my fingers to find the prose
That would make this piece a bit less morose

Then I thought: hey, this isn’t what I meant to write
I’ve deviated from my intended purpose
And my brain said dude, I’m not that bright
I have a stammer and I need a break

So went the rhymes, the purpose and the inspiration
Leaving me with a great deal of frustration
Which, I might say, is better than apathy
When it comes down to creativity

You may wonder where this goes,
And if that’s the case I have achieved my purpose
Creative stammer is a very serious condition
Which most often than not leads to confusion

This rambling piece doesn’t seem to have a point, or an ending
It doesn’t even seem like it deserves one, or a beginning
But I am quite content to stop writing
Lest I bore myself to death and keep you waiting


Posted by StarLizard on 11/22 at 01:08 AM | Permalink
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