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Thursday, December 07, 2006

On the Night I Died

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On the night I died
I lay still, tubed;
the machine’s rickey tick tick
forcing air in and out.

Aware but unaware
my heart beat, birded,
burst.

I danced then
with a vengeful god
his vile thoughts meshed
with mine. He showed me
the stars, mere holes
in a fabric of time,
of which I no longer
took part.

We flew low over
terraced hills where I
once walked with love;
he smiled as he smote,
smoothing, shaping until
I recognised nothing.

We trod amongst
detritus and debris
as he replayed my kills;
righteous or not those
men still bled
into spouse’s sleeves,
lover’s laps.

Finally we met the gates,
patrolled and peter’d
he stepped through
before the barrier fell.
I was dismissed before the dawn
battered back into a body
ill-fitting for a warrior.

Warrior no more,
I walk a new path now;
not to enter the gates
but to help others avoid
the journey I took that night,
the night I died.