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Monday, August 15, 2011

Porch Rockers

Category: Humor/Satire

Porch Rockers
 
  In the boogeyman old age home Grolph rocked on the porch chuckling mindlessly to himself.
  “What’s so amusing?” asked Boodrum, his long time companion.
  “I was just thinking about that teacher I used to haunt. Made his life miserable. Scared him so bad he wouldn’t leave the classroom. God I was good.”
  “We were all good in our day. I could match you tale for tale. But what’s the use? Those days are gone, gone forever.” Boodrum heaved a sigh that sang of lost youth and missed opportunities, so many lives left un-ruined. “Ever think of the ones that got away?” Boo asks.
  “Say what?” Grolph groping for his ear trumpet. “What’d you say?”
  “The ones that got away,” Boo said slowly and loudly.
  “You don’t have to shout, I ain’t deaf yet,” said a mostly deaf Grolph.
  This is what it had come to. The rest home for our greatest fears. Fears grown as old and toothless as their hosts. Fangs long replaced with expensive bridgework. Boiled flesh only these days, can’t risk breaking a tooth on bones.
  “Did you hear about Droolp?” shouted Boodrum into the trumpet.
  “What about him?”
  “Went off to scare his human one last time. The myopic son of a bitch scared the wrong person completely. Got so embarrassed he missed the evening meal. And then there was old Vinegar, you heard about him?” Boodrum sat back and rocked exhausted from all the conversation.
  “I heard,” said Grolph. “Wandered off one day and couldn’t find his way back. He’s still missing. This isn’t cheering me up any, you know. I got to tell you something, Boo, I’m scared.”
  “Oh c’mon, a big bad nightmare like you. What have you got to be scared of?”
  “Irrelevance. Remember that teacher I was telling you about? Well he’s a senile old fool now. There’s nothing I can do to scare him anymore. I’m irrelevant, Boo, isn’t that the cruelest fate of all?”
  Boodrum heaved a great sigh and looked over at his friend, tears were streaming down his cheeks. “Even boogeymen get the blues,” was what he finally said.

Posted by tobiash on 08/15 at 04:30 PM | Permalink
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