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Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Why all candidates suck…

It’s right there, in your face.

It’s in the etymology of the word.

Break it down:

Can: I could do all of these wonderful things for you if you give me the power.

Did: I did these other things that I wanted and intended to do anyway once I got the power because, well, I no longer needed you, and I realize you’re stupid enough to vote me back in again with the right spin and a choice of the lesser of two evils. Plus, I won by running on the promise that I could do things for you paid for by people who tell me I need to do things for them or they won’t pay more money to have me re-elected, and you bought it. So I’ll just promise you similar things again and do things to you instead, pleasing those special interests that pay my PR bill, which is way more important than your one piddly vote.

Ate: I feasted on every fricking thing I felt like once you gave me power over you and over everybody else, including your children, your money, and what’s left of your future. I ate it all and I’m running again because I want more. Please give me your vote, because the world will go to hell without my wisdom and guidance. No one else knows how to destroy and consume… er, take care of your things like I do. I have experience!

...Politics makes organized crime look like a church choir on its best behavior.

And terrorists are supposed to be scary.