Ok, let me start by saying that I thought this line: ‘Dave is so tight, the last time he opened his wallet Abe Lincoln was blinking from the light’ was brilliant. I can never quite get those little jewels right for some reason, but I can always appreciate them!
I found the story to be fun, light, and entertaining. I enjoyed wondering where it was going, and the style kept me reading. I found I didn’t really care what you would do with it because I was having fun just enjoying every line, regardless of where it took me, until I got to the calling the authorities part. By the way, I thought the OCD extermination worked well and was a fun way of getting rid of what I thought of at the time as aliens. The experiments idea was nice, but I felt the ending was a little rushed. My overstimulated mind kept trying to tell me that three civilians wouldn’t get off so easy and I kept expecting something akin to the Men in Black’s ‘flashing thingy’ to come along. I was glad it didn’t and have no problem with the ending per say, but I felt it went too quickly from gooey yellow stuff to notoriety - I would’ve liked a little more insight into how all that went down.
Other than that, again, I really enjoyed it, so well done, and keep bringing them on!
- Star
