Uncle Hagen, the one they called Todey; he married Nanny B’s girl, Sharla, that scrawny little thing. And they had two beautiful boys, Jamey and Johnnie. But Sharla took ill with her youngest, and it just got worse and worse, until finally she died. Can you imagine that, twenty-four year old and knowing you’re gonna die, and just feeling worse and worse all the time and nothing you can do about it. Well, she weren’t but a skinny little thing anyway. And her poor husband watching her go like that, and with those the two little boys and all. And Loosha Bloodwurth was there taking care of her all that time, but she weren’t no real nurse or anything, just doing what she could to help out as best she could.

But Nanny B was powerful hurt by Sharla dying like that, ‘cause you know she’d just lost her boy Frankie in the war, over on Iwo Jima, and she didn’t have anybody since they’d locked her husband away when he was acting strange and all. And now all she had in the whole world was those two little boys, her grandkids. So she gave the farm to them, and moved into a little bitty house in town. And then Todey and Loosha got married and had themselves a little girl, Maddie. But Loosha already had a child, Jada. Loosha’s husband was killed over there in Iwo Jima too. So there you go.

But the funny thing is, you know Loosha was never really in love with her husband, her first husband that is, Jada’s daddy, the one that got killed. She was always in love with her childhood sweetheart which was Nanny B’s boy Frankie. So she lost two men in that war. It’s funny the way that works out, isn’t it. But she and Todey got along just fine out there on Nanny B’s farm.

Now what I heard about how they got that farm is this.You know Loosha’s brother Buford was the sheriff, well she had all those brothers and sisters anyway. Maddie once told me she had near a hundred cousins, just in Sarpy County alone, what with the Marsh’es and Brooks’es, and Bloodwurths, and Grimes’es and Whitbys, and Williams’es, and a bunch more I guess. But so Buford’s Loosha’s brother...and Todey, acting on behalf of the two little boys, sells the farm to Buford for one whole dollar. And then Buford of course turns around and sells it back to Todey for two dollars, or whatever, and that’s that. I don’t know what the law would think about that, but Buford being the sheriff, I reckon nobody said nothing about it.

But that aint the half of it. You know Todey worked real hard to make a good life for himself and his family; driving all the way down to Griffin everyday, and that’s over an hour each way, and spending all those long hours at the office. God knows what he was doing down there, but he never got home ‘til late every night. And then after all that he got to be quite a wealthy man. Built that big new house and bought a house on the lake and ski boat and sailboat, all that sorta stuff. And he always took such good care of the farm too, him and Jamey - Johnnie never was much into gettin his hands dirty, and neither of the two girls, neither. But him and Jamey kept that farm looking like God’s own back yard, pretty as picture.

And then after all that, well Jada run off and got married to some no account boy; and poor little Maddie married that crazy sailor boy from Australia; and they was at each other’s throats all the time. And of course when they finally got divorced, he took their little boy and stole him away, and went back home to his own country.

Well, Maddie and her folks were just beside themselves over that ‘cause that little tow-headed boy Ricky was about everything to them, I think he spent more time with the grandparents than anyone else. So of course Maddie took her daddy’s checkbook and went over there to look for her boy. And well she finally found him, but it took about a year, and about all the money that Todey’s saved up after all those years of working so hard. So he never did get that heart surgery and really didn’t last too long after that. And then years later Maddie got so really sick with the cancer and her momma sold off the lake house and most of the farm to pay all the bills, that and sending little Ricky to those expensive private schools.

So finally when Maddie passed on, and by the way, I never did see any of those hundred cousins at her send off, just us Marsh’es mostly and that one Brooks boy, and one of the Grimes’es; I guess she burned a lot of bridges over the years. But then Loosha started going downhill herself, what with burying her husband and now her daughter. So about that time Jada and her husband move in with her and then they put Loosha in the home and so they wind up with what’s left of the farm. Can you imagine, here Jada aint no blood kin of Todey or the two boys or Nanny B or any of ‘em. And Jamey and Johnnie, who Nanny B actually gave the farm to, well they didn’t get nothing. Can you imagine.

This story was confusing, I think because of all the different characters, and it wasn’t clear til the end that the titular theft (been waitin’ to use that word ) was from the two grandchildren of Nanny B.  The voice is authentic, but it seems to me to need something to bounce off.  The motivation of the narrator who is apparently one of the Marsh’s (might be more interesting if the narrator’s relation to all the others was clearer) in telling the story is kind of distracting too.  Consider adding an underlying thread that justifies curiosity on the part of another character who helps tell the story by asking the narrator questions.

If I have missed a glaring reference to some popular family of literary lore, please forgive me.  Someday I hope to fill my head with the classic literature that will provide context and allusion to me reading and writing experience but… I guess I’m still grinding through the money chasing years.

Dave Scotese - 26 October 2006 10:02 PM

This story was confusing, I think because of all the different characters

I absolutely agree. I was drawn by the writing style, but found myself re-reading paragraphs mid-way because I couldn’t keep track of who was who, and who was related to who in what way.

I think the short sentences work well in this kind of narration, and the ‘storytelling’ style was in my opinion very well handled.

I would consider adding a bit more to the story to create a better understanding of characters, which I think would make it easier to follow.

I’ve written this story of my actual family (or totally fiction if they should want to sue me) a half dozen times, a half dozen different ways. And I can’t get over it. It’s remarkable to me that Aunt Loosha should lose her husband on Iwo Jima, yet have been in love with Nanny B’s son Frankie, who also died on Iwo Jima, and end up marrying Nanny B’s daughter’s husband after she died.

But these names and relationships were hard for me to follow even as a family member hearing these stories. I suppose, as you suggest, someone would need to cut in - and ask, who was that again? But I thought one could read it through and not worry about that, and see if it made sense at the end, without having to worry about it making sense in every paragraph.

I’ve always thought of it as a book idea (like Faulkner’s south) and nice to have a condensed version at hand to refer to. I might put all the stories together sometime like Faulkner’s As I Lay Dying, with the differing viewpoints and slants on the same basic tale. Maddie by the way, was my best friend and her dad Uncle Todey, like a father to me. So, it’s an emotional thing too. Well, you could read other versions at my blog ‘cause I don’t like to post so much at one place, like hogging other people’s space.

Maybe a good approach - to the book, though probably not the condensed version - is to take certain elements - like these two guys who both died on Iwo Jima and who were both loved by the same woman - and make them into a story with it’s own little coincidence.  In other words, reduce the scope of the shorter “versions” so they only cover a small part, but in a way that makes them each a (nearly) complete story on its own.