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Tuesday, October 26, 2010
Alone In The Rain
Category: Poetry/LyricsI slept only a moment last night
But when i dreamed
I dreamt of you
You were dressed so simply
That i barely recognised you
But you said
What did you say?
You said
No
You said-
What?
No
I don’t love you
I never will
Hurt like a fresh kind of pain
But then i heard it
Then i heard it again
And then?
Then came the rain
So-
Why don’t you go?
Fall in his arms
I’ll wait here
Under the clouds
This weather-
For you
Sitting alone in
Warm summer rain
Fall in out of love
I’ll be here again
Wasting away
Words like pain
Wasting away
In suburban decay
Racing away
Never again
No one knows
I’m depressed
Behind my plastic veil
Impeccably dressed
Put to the test
Remarkably stressed
Head’s in a mess
Couldn’t care any less
Bring on the rain
Show me the rain
Gone is the pain
Are you so inane?
It’s further ingrained
Bring on the rain
If you remember again
I can’t quite see
How you could make such a fool
A fool from what
You failed to care about me
Sculpt a fool from neglected plastic
Words are synthetic
You’re just that pathetic
Fall to the one who loves you at nights
I can’t even see through your cold plastic eyes
I’ll tell you whatever to get in your thighs
I can’t even see through your old drastic lies
I still don’t believe that for you i’d have cried
Though it seems now it has happened tonight
Don’t even care how you fall for that stuff
Stay with me tonight
That fake plastic fuck
I think you’re alright
You think I’m okay?
Okay in every way
I think you’re insane
I like your poem,it jumps around a bit but, its still very good and well thought out and i can tell this from exsperince, you’ve devinately have some talent there so keep it up, keep writing and one day, your’ll make your mark.
Novel1
Well. being the disposable man in a divorce, I can say I sympathize. I would give the world, or say anything to get back in her thighs. But it ain’t gonna happen. Our divorce came down in November, which has since taken me into a full blown Guns n’ Roses chilhood regression- November Rain.
The message resonates with me, the stream of consciousness aspect is compelling. The fuck bomb is well-placed, I think. i like well-placed profanity in serious, literate work.
Keep it up!
“i can tell this from exsperince, you’ve devinately have some talent there…”
I am facepalming right now so hard that my ears are bleeding.
The dark blood. Looks brown almost like over used oil.
Getting dizzy. Think I’ll lay down and stick my hand in the cold, cold toilet.
Nice poem. I could use more well placed F bombs and the like. Rage should read as such, but that’s just me. Doesn’t evoke a G-n-R feel for me though, more of a light Eminem.
Oh, and Love and Justice, sorry about your Divorce…
...And congratulations on your divorce.
Thanks for the sorrow. I’m coming to terms with the congratulations. I’m spending VD with a “get-my-sorry-ass-together” task list, and hoping against hope to score without risking paper cuts.