“her head swam with memories of a twisted dream, the specifics eluded her, but the theme was the same as always – terrifying. It left her mind deeply disconnected with the reality that existed all around her now. Everything looked wrong, more than that everything felt wrong.”

...That happens to me every fricking morning…
This smells sweet & spicy like…say…Cinnamon Schnapps…Kind of reminds me of a story about the peripheral cahracters in Office Space…

...write on…

This was a little long for me to get through but the I always feel pressed for time.  If others bring it up, consider some editing.

Alternatively, if every paragraph is important in your use of symbols and metaphors, try tying them in more explicitly.  For example, I’m guessing that Marcus and possibly Dean are both represented in X’s dream, but there weren’t enough clues to make it obvious to me.  I also suspect that Nyla and X are the same person, but again, not enough clues.

It seems a little to me like this started as a shorter story that someone suggested you could work into a larger piece.  The effects of paying per-word.

Uhm,

Can I get some tea now?

Please hold the arsenic, extra lemon…

—slim dark haired woman