The (real) incident is good for a suspense thriller. If you had put in some extra efforts, the story could have been super. I think the piece needs editing and rethink. Good effort. Congrats!

Dr George Karimalil

I agree with Dr Karimalil. You should trim this story. All the directions and ways to go etc. are a bit much. Still, I enjoyed it and it has definite potential. I like the quirky sayings and humour.

This story makes me think of a totally different picture. Ever had your car go “kaputt” on you?  You take it to the garage and nobody can find anything wrong with it and nobody believes you, as its engine purrs like a cat that got the goldfish?